How to survive or not in a horror movie (based on cliches)

1.  Stay away from the basement, attic, closet or wherever the weird noise is coming from… You aren’t more brave if you go towards the danger, you are stupid.

2. Shower with your eyes open, cause the moment you close them to wash your hair, the killer will randomly show up in your bathroom.

3. Never ever ask questions, such as hello? Who are you? The killer or supernatural being won’t answer them and you are just wasting precious time

4. Never open your front door and leave it open while you go 1 mile away from it to see who is out there… chances are whoever is will always sneak behind your back into your home.

5. Don’t even bother searching for a knife.. no competition against a chainsaw

6. Never beg a supernatural being to ‘go away and leave you alone’ 99% of the time they don’t give a fuck about what you want and will eventually come back to get you later on or in the sequel

7. Don’t watch a tape that warns you that you will die in seven days if you do

8. Don’t text and drive, or even look at your phone, chances are ghosts or whatever,  will end up randomly appearing on the road, and because you don’t want to ‘run over someone who/that  is already dead’ you try to go around them and end up having a terrible car accident (wait… this totally sounds familiar…. 😉 )

9. Curiosity is never a good trait to have… ever!! How come characters have names such as Grace, Faith, Hope, but never Curiosity?? I just want to name the serial killer Curiosity, so that could be the lame joke throughout the film…’Curiosity  is going to kill you…’

10. Never believe when someone says ‘I am not the killer…’ 99% of the time, they are…

By: Liliana Kligman